“Normal” people even.
I’m talking about those little idiosyncrasies that most people keep secret, either because they’ve convinced themselves that they’re completely normal, or don’t want others to think them strange. (I know because I’m one of them.) Until the day they’re faced with having to explain their peculiar behaviour. (As a person prone to littering my conversations and motions with disclaimers, I’ve often fought the urge to over-explain myself, and lost, many, many times!)
So, I went to the loo at work the other day. As with most public loos, the individual stalls have their own doors. And then there’s the main door separating the “ladies room” from the rest of the office. (This is important.)
Ahead of me, a colleague had entered the general “ladies room” area, and I was bringing up the rear. As I got to the first door, she closed it in my face. Huh? So I pushed it open and she looked at me annoyed. Huh-huh?! “I always close the door when I go to the toilet” she said.
Still confused, I thought about pointing out that each stall has its own door. I didn’t. “It’s just something I’ve always done and have to do” her words becoming urgent (either she was feeling uncomfortable or just needed to wazz really badly) “I can’t go to the loo with the door open.” But BOTH doors?! I nodded, as if I understood, because I needed to wazz really badly.
Now I pee at a speed that often earns me the bemused respect of my friends, so needless to say, I was out before her. (Disclaimer: I don’t have a relationship with the toilet; reading on the toilet is something I’ve never understood. I think it’s gross. I’m in and out as fast as possible.)
So I washed my hands, she was still in there… opened the main toilet door and left. Without closing it. I left it WIDE open. I wasn’t trying to be spiteful; I just thought she was being stupid. (I know; who am I to judge.) Because, I really don’t think she has TWO toilet doors at home. So, what gives?
Indeed Jim, people are strange.
I’m talking about those little idiosyncrasies that most people keep secret, either because they’ve convinced themselves that they’re completely normal, or don’t want others to think them strange. (I know because I’m one of them.) Until the day they’re faced with having to explain their peculiar behaviour. (As a person prone to littering my conversations and motions with disclaimers, I’ve often fought the urge to over-explain myself, and lost, many, many times!)
So, I went to the loo at work the other day. As with most public loos, the individual stalls have their own doors. And then there’s the main door separating the “ladies room” from the rest of the office. (This is important.)
Ahead of me, a colleague had entered the general “ladies room” area, and I was bringing up the rear. As I got to the first door, she closed it in my face. Huh? So I pushed it open and she looked at me annoyed. Huh-huh?! “I always close the door when I go to the toilet” she said.
Still confused, I thought about pointing out that each stall has its own door. I didn’t. “It’s just something I’ve always done and have to do” her words becoming urgent (either she was feeling uncomfortable or just needed to wazz really badly) “I can’t go to the loo with the door open.” But BOTH doors?! I nodded, as if I understood, because I needed to wazz really badly.
Now I pee at a speed that often earns me the bemused respect of my friends, so needless to say, I was out before her. (Disclaimer: I don’t have a relationship with the toilet; reading on the toilet is something I’ve never understood. I think it’s gross. I’m in and out as fast as possible.)
So I washed my hands, she was still in there… opened the main toilet door and left. Without closing it. I left it WIDE open. I wasn’t trying to be spiteful; I just thought she was being stupid. (I know; who am I to judge.) Because, I really don’t think she has TWO toilet doors at home. So, what gives?
Indeed Jim, people are strange.
This post has the makings of a short graphic novel!
ReplyDeleteOh! How cool would that be!
ReplyDelete