Blink 182

Every so often, I arrive at work to find my telephone blinking at me. Innocent enough, but it becomes infuriating when, after frantic button pushing, it. doesn’t. stop.

I. WANT. IT. TO. STOP. Pleeeeeease. Make. It. Stop.

I know what you’re thinking – technophobe. (Is it because I’m a girl? Would you like to meet the soul of my fabulous new boots?) I’m NOT a technophobe. I pour over website after website to crack whatever it is I’m trying to do in Word, online, etc. Asking someone for help is always a last resort. Not because I’m stubborn (okay, maybe I’m a little stubborn) but I get huge satisfaction from teaching myself new MS Office tricks and solving those niggly little problems that bring one’s productivity to a grinding halt. And I have little time for people who refuse to Google, see and conquer. (Lazy fuckers.)

Blink. Blink. Blink.

But this phone thing has left me baffled. I’ve scanned the laminated instruction card over and over again. I’ve Googled Alcatel Easy Reflexes™ (see how they’ve cunningly called it Easy Reflexes). And I can’t seem to find the section in the Pdf labeled: My phone is blinking for no reason. Because let’s face it, what else would that section be called? (Yes, I’ve checked for voice mail and “text” whatever THAT is.) My reflex, which I’m trying very hard to control, is to hurl the thing across the office – now THAT would be Easy, not to mention satisfying.

Previously I’ve called my office manager (I might have whined), who’s managed to solve the issue, but can never explain to me how to do it. Once, I successfully stopped the blinkin’ thing myself, but I just struck it lucky and don’t actually remember the order in which I pressed the buttons. I know I have to press 3 at some point, but that hasn’t worked this morning.

Shitnuts!
What to do?

I think I’m just going to cover the lit slit with something. Like a Post It Note. Or prestick. And carry on with my day.

Yeah, I'm lying. I'm not going to be able to do any work until I've solved this problem. Time to roll up my sleeves-metaphorically speaking, it's frikkin' freezing today-and pray for darkness.