No! No! No!

No, I don't think advertising is evil.
No, I'm not going to tint my eyebrows.
No, I'm NOT going to grow my pit hair.

A strange little conversation about cell phones...

So, I finally have a new phone. When I got my "flippy-phone" two years ago, I thought they were really cool. Little did I know how many people I'd cut off attempting the one-finger-flip to open the phone, and then the increase in my phone bill when I'd call them back with "I'm so sorry, I cut you off". Sigh.

Sunday was the day, to get my upgrade. I'm back to Nokia (thank god) and it's really a simple phone. When I walked into MTN I didn't really know which model I wanted, and the SUPER-EFFICIENT sales guy set about helping me:

Me: I'm here for an upgrade but I'd like to see your range on the MyCall100 package.
SESG (Super-Efficient Sales Guy): Here's a brochure.
Me (opening the brochure and scanning the phones): Thanks.
SESG: What do you want to use [the phone] for?

*Blink* Yes, I hesitated. And then I said...

Me: Phoning? (With that irritating uptone on the end, like the Americans.) But SESG was not to be deterred (there are obviously more of me out there)

SESG (still smiling): Okay, do you want to take photos? Surf the internet? Do you use it for work? Etc. etc.

Well kids. That's technology for you. That's progress! A phone is no longer, just a phone. (Now if only I could work out how to tune the FM radio thingy!)

I don’t understand…

Every day, without fail, the following type of email gets “sent to all” at work:

“Does anyone have a charger for a (insert make and model no. here) cell phone?”

Now, there are instances when your cell phone dies… like when you’re at a three-day music festival and there’s no electricity. Or you go away for the weekend and you leave your charger at home. Or you battery is dying, as they do, and you're left yelling down the phone: ifyougetcutoffit’sbecausemybatteryisaboutto… “click”.

But an email a day, begging to borrow a charger? What’s wrong with these people that they don’t charge their phones at night, when they’re sleeping? We’ve all got landlines at work. So they’re not quite in the Sahara. And of course, there's voicemail. I just don’t get it! What did people DO before cell phones? (It's a question I often ask myself, especially at the Kirstenbosch summer concerts - it's entertaining viewing, watching people on the path swinging wildly from side-to-side to spot their posse, and someone in the masses-grappleing-for-space jumping around with arms flailing trying to catch the latecomer's attention.)

In a Word... Attitude.

Hers was bad. And it's put me in a bad mood. She's new. She's a PA. I was helpful and she gave me attitude.

MS Word, as a programme, can be infuriating if you don't know how to use it properly. My solution to this is the Help Menu. (Funny that!) After all, that's what it's there for. A little persistence and perseverance goes a long way and I've learnt many cool tricks and snappy shortcuts in my quest for greater understanding of the tool. The result of this is that I'm often called upon when a colleague has inadvertently clicked on something they didn't mean to, and are facing unwanted blocks, lines etc. etc. on their screen. I don't mind. Especially since nine times out of ten, the victim of word-don't-come-easy-to-me is extremely grateful. To the point of gushing and hero worship. I don't mind that either! But a polite "thank you" will also do.

I was asked to proof read a series of documents for the Media Teams latest newsletter. I did so, and tracked the changes I made for their consideration. "Track Changes" seems to send most people into a flurry of clicking, swearing and dismay. I like to counter this with a quick, informative demonstration on how to accept/decline/deactivate this function... you know, for next time. (Because, there probably will be a next time, especially if I'm checking your work.) Teach a man to fish and all that.

I tried to talk her through it on the phone. She didn't know what I was talking about. So I offered to her at her PC. She sits downstairs on the other side of the building. And she gave me attitude. A whole lot of it. I explained Track Changes and showed her the buttons and options. (This only took about 30 seconds.) She wasn't interested, she just wanted them gone. Her body language said it all. Arms crossed, no eye contact. (Surely a PA should not behave in this manner, aren't they supposed to be helpful and accommodating? Aren't they supposed to know a thing or two about Word?) Once the changes had been accepted, I smiled and said, "there you go" and turned to walk away. She eventually uttered a very spluttery "thanks". (Surely new people are supposed to endear themselves to the rest of the staff, be excited to be starting a new job, aiming to please? A new broom and all that.

I'm annoyed and dismayed. In my book, you just don't mess with a favour. But what can one do? I'm trying to let-it-go. And not call her names. (Out loud.) Bi-ecause it's going to come back and bite you when you least expect it: I wish her many text boxes with anchors that won't align with the text.

another new look...

It's times like this that I wish I were an Art Director, that my knowledge of Photoshop was a bit more than extremely basic, that I were blessed with original visual ideas and that Photoshop hadn't been lost when my machine was upgraded. However, I'm thankful that I work with a studio filled with Art Directors who are sometimes willing to take up my causes... like birthday or baby shower invites and more recently the title/header of U&L. I'm a pretty easy-going "client", mostly because favours are not things to be toyed with.

So, I've been playing around with the blogger settings (we are GMT+2 right?) and limited to templates on the site, I've been toying with ones that are mostly me and will do. PLUS, David helped me out with my header visual which I quite like. Especially the sparkly sun flashes. I'm a bit fickle about pretty pictures. My FB profile pic gets updated regularly. My desktop and screensave are reflections of my mood, which changes rapidly, it's a wonder that I managed to decide on and get a tattoo - no double-clicking allowed there! (It did take me 7 years to decide.) Which is why U&L has tried on so many hats.

Anyway, it's Friday. It's quiet. It's sunny. Thank you Dave! (I pay in chocolate.) And I can't wait for the weekend.

Happy Women's Day all my lovelies!

puppy love

Oh, she’s lovely. Her name is Ruby and she’s a 3-month old Dauschhund puppy. Kim, one of our Project Managers, has brought her to work for the past few days. I first caught wind of her as squeals of delight skipped down the passage and through my office door. Normally, I think that animals should be left at home, and dogs, in the garden. Work is no place for them. But, there’s no doubt that a little piece of fur bounding down the hallways is good for the soul. In the gloomy, stressed, haphazard working day, a little puppy love goes a long way.

Her little legs working double time to keep up with an Art Director, striding, unaware to the colour printer. Her yaps of excitement at the next scarf and tassels to nip and tug. Her shuffling, wet nose in your ear if you let her. All magic spells to snatch away the tension that fingers its way over my shoulders, up my neck and over my skull. I don’t mind that she turned my neat bun into a bird’s nest. I just breathe in her puppy breath and feel content.

She won’t come tomorrow, or again. But her brief, cuddly visit has worked wonders on an otherwise dreary Wednesday afternoon.